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Monologue Jokes – May 24, 2013
1. Former “Teen Mom” star Farrah Abraham, who currently has a sex-tape out, announced via Twitter that she has a new reality show in the works. Abraham knows that “Keeping up with the Kardashians” is...
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March 4, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. For $9,600, fans of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton can rent a luxury suite for her scheduled June speech near Denver, part of a package that includes seats for 26 guests. “That’s a...
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May 30, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West released the first images of their wedding on Instagram yesterday. Although, considering the length of her previous marriage, maybe they should have gone with Snapchat....
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June 2, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Democratic lawmakers in Delaware have introduced a bill that would decriminalize the possession of a small amount of marijuana. Weed is perfect for those residents who think time doesn’t move slow...
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July 25, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Yesterday, Kim Kardashian revealed that her daughter North West had taken her first steps. But, if she’s anything like her mother, I’m sure she still feels more comfortable on her knees. 2. Rapper...
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August 29, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Actors Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie secretly got married over the weekend in France. Reportedly, for their “something borrowed” they adopted another kid. 2. On Thursday, NFL Commissioner Roger...
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September 29, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Chelsea Clinton gave birth to a healthy baby girl early Friday morning in New York. “No Bill, you’re using it wrong,” said the guy who passed out the cigars. 2. Detroit Lions quarterback Matthew...
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June 10, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. According to a new survey, half of the apartment complexes in close range to two Texas Universities offer free, on-site, indoor tanning beds. When tanning expert Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi was asked...
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March 30, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. While Bernie Sanders was giving a speech at a recent campaign rally a bird landed on the podium he was standing behind. So apparently 74-year-old Bernie has the endorsement of both Mother Nature and...
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September 21, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. According to reports, while giving a speech Monday night, former President George H.W. Bush said he intends to vote for Hillary Clinton over Donald Trump in November. Even worse, he said he made...
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September 22, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump said on Wednesday he would consider using “stop-and-frisk” policing methods to cut crime if elected. The person he’d put in charge, you guessed it,...
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September 29, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. On Tuesday, the price of gold went down and the value of the Mexican peso went up. And you thought Donald Trump had a rough Monday. 2. There’s a new brand of coffee that promises to give men...
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October 3, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. Taco trucks in Houston are doubling as voter registration booths. So now you won’t know if it was the chimichunags or your options for president that gave you the indigestion. 2. According to a...
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February 22, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. A 330 pound teen in Texas lost over half his body weight to get revenge on his school bullies. So let that be a lesson to you kids, bullying works! 2. On a recent trip to Cambodia, Angelina Jolie...
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May 4, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. Authorities say a drunk driving suspect, who was chased by police from Maryland to Pennsylvania, identified herself as Hillary Clinton. But authorities knew it wasn’t the real Hillary because she...
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June 9, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. Hours before former FBI Director James Comey testified on Thursday, the line to get into the public hearing stretched to over 600 people. “Wow, 600 people! Who was getting inaugurated?” asked Trump....
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