1. Former “Teen Mom” star Farrah Abraham, who currently has a sex-tape out, announced via Twitter that she has a new reality show in the works. Abraham knows that “Keeping up with the Kardashians” is just a title and not instructions, right?
2. In a historic decision, the Boy Scouts of America have voted to allow openly gay youths into the scouts. Gay scouts? What’s next, allowing them to tie a knot?
3. In a historic decision, the Boy Scouts of America have voted to allow openly gay youths into the scouts, but the ban on gay adult leaders will remain. So don’t quit your day jobs just yet, priests.
4. While in Cannes, actor/comedian Jerry Lewis reiterated his opinion that women aren’t funny by saying that he is bothered by women doing “broad” comedy. I know it’s wrong, but I wish muscular dystrophy was contagious.
5. While in Cannes, actor/comedian Jerry Lewis reiterated his opinion that women aren’t funny by saying that he is bothered by women doing “broad” comedy. Looks like someone’s never seen a little show called “Suddenly Susan.”
6. In a recent interview with Esquire magazine, Brad Pitt revealed that he thinks he suffers from face blindness, a disease that prevents people from remembering the faces of others. The whole adopting a kid from each continent makes a little more sense now.
7. A female protestor advocating the closure of Gitmo interrupted a speech being given by President Obama which was supporting the same position. Proving that women aren’t great listeners either.
8. McDonald’s announced that Charles Ramsey, the man who helped rescue the three Cleveland women held captive, will get free McDonald’s from his local restaurant for the next year. Which may explain why Chris Christie has been seen breaking into random basements around New Jersey.
9. Johnson & Johnson plans to seek approval of a new depression-treating drug which contains ketamine, which is the active ingredient in the mood-altering party drug known as “Special K.” In an unrelated story, J&J plans to open a new glo-stick division.
10. According to a new study, people who had used marijuana in the past month had smaller waists and lower levels of insulin resistance, a precursor to diabetes. Seems like we could have bypassed this entire study by just looking at a picture of Snoop Dogg.
11. According to a recent poll, the least popular country in the world is Iran. The most popular country? That whore France.
